Getting Real

Getting real, keeping it real, it means something different to everyone. Over the last few weeks I have had the incredible experience of looking at myself, inside of myself, and recognizing some obstacles that I have faced since a very young age. I have been able to recognize some fears that I have had for as long as I can remember. I have also been able to see how those fears ahve played out in my mind, my thoughts, my interactions, my relationships, my life, and my actions.

It seems that I have come to a point in my life where I am finally getting real. I am actually looking at some very difficult issues of the heart, acknowledging them, and I've been able to see how powerful that simple step can be. I have been able to see the fears, and the chain reaction tehy set off when they creep up, pop in, jump on me, or however else they present themselves. I see how they effect my thoughts, which in turn effect my emotions, which then in turn effect my actions.

What I've found is that the mere recognition of this process takes away much of hte power. I see these things for what they are, fear, and I see that in order for those fears to have any power, I need to interact with them, and buy in to the bullshit they are feeding me.

I am learning to pause today. To let go of control. To learn to trust in myself and others. I am learning how to respond to life differently. They are baby steps I am taking, dont get me wrong. I am very early in this learning process. But I feel that I have made a beakthrough, and I know that I am on the right path.