From uncomfortable, to scary, to very uncomfortable, to histerical
A few weeks ago, I finally went to the doctor to get my stomach checked out. For months I had been having pain in my stomach, constant burning, naseau, feeling bloated, and just not feeling right for a long long time. It would get really bad in the evenings, and before bed. So I went in and got checked out, and I had to get blood work done, and then I ahd to go in adn get some imaging done on my stomach. I had to fast the night before and go in the morning. While there they did an ultra sound, adn then I had to drink this chalky, milky, thick, ass-tasting liquid so that they could see inside my stomach. I had been uncomfortable for months, so I did what they asked so I could get some answers and hopefully rid myself of whatever was causing it.
I had already been having trouble going number 2 (pooping) which was one of the issues wiht my stomach, digestive issues. Then they tell me, well this stuff will clog you up, so be sure to drink lots of water and flush it out. So I do that, worried that if I am already havnig trouble, this is not going to be good. The next day I wake up and feel like I have a rock sitting inside of me from my belly button to my asshole. It is painful. I drink water, drink water, drink water. The pain gets worse and worse adn worse. Of course all the water makes me have to go to the bathroom, and this is where it gets scary. It hurt like a motherfucker to piss. It was as if something was smashing my bladder, and it hurt to come out. I was freaked out, and didnt know waht to do. My follow up with my doctor wasnt for another week, but I couldnt wait that long. I called them adn said I need to come in NOW, I am in pain, and I dont know waht the fuck is wrong with me. To their credit they got me in wthhin 30 minutes and I was able to see the doctor and explain to her that I had shooting pain through my stomach all the way to my asshole (she preferred the word rectum) and it hurt like hell to take a piss, adn I was scared. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!
So we talk a bit, and she asks me some more questions. Are you havnig trouble going to the bathroom, number 1 and 2. YES!!! Does it hurt here and there and this other place, yes no yes (whatever it was). Then, after a few minutes of conversation, she says "Alright, we're gonna have to check your prostate, and for hemoroids, ok?" WHAT!?!?!?! I am thinking to myself. What the fuck!!! What was I supposed to say, I felt like I was about to give birth out of my as...rectum. So she has me drop my pants and roll onto my side and get into a "fetal like position" (oh this is fitting I thought to myself). Then she went ahead and did what she had to do, and that was very uncomfortable.
So then, this is where it just goes from very uncomfortable, to just plain retarded. I mean, how much worse can it get. I was sick for months, finally went to the doctor, they make me give blood, and drink what was basically cement, the cement settles in my intestines and pushes on everything around it causing me a great deal of pain, and then I get a finger poked in my butt. So what is the kicker. Well she gives me my diagnosis. I've got some issues as the result of being constipated, including a hernia that may require surgery, and I have an ulcer. She prescribed some meds and are you ready for this, one of them was a suppository. Thats right folks, not only did I have to go through all that, and still feel like a large boulder is resting in my bowels, and had a finger put up my butt, I now get to shove my own finger up my own ass twice a day for 2 weeks!!!
I walked out of the doctor, with a look of disbelief. As I started thinking about the whole thing I couldnt help but laughing. What a day
I had already been having trouble going number 2 (pooping) which was one of the issues wiht my stomach, digestive issues. Then they tell me, well this stuff will clog you up, so be sure to drink lots of water and flush it out. So I do that, worried that if I am already havnig trouble, this is not going to be good. The next day I wake up and feel like I have a rock sitting inside of me from my belly button to my asshole. It is painful. I drink water, drink water, drink water. The pain gets worse and worse adn worse. Of course all the water makes me have to go to the bathroom, and this is where it gets scary. It hurt like a motherfucker to piss. It was as if something was smashing my bladder, and it hurt to come out. I was freaked out, and didnt know waht to do. My follow up with my doctor wasnt for another week, but I couldnt wait that long. I called them adn said I need to come in NOW, I am in pain, and I dont know waht the fuck is wrong with me. To their credit they got me in wthhin 30 minutes and I was able to see the doctor and explain to her that I had shooting pain through my stomach all the way to my asshole (she preferred the word rectum) and it hurt like hell to take a piss, adn I was scared. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!
So we talk a bit, and she asks me some more questions. Are you havnig trouble going to the bathroom, number 1 and 2. YES!!! Does it hurt here and there and this other place, yes no yes (whatever it was). Then, after a few minutes of conversation, she says "Alright, we're gonna have to check your prostate, and for hemoroids, ok?" WHAT!?!?!?! I am thinking to myself. What the fuck!!! What was I supposed to say, I felt like I was about to give birth out of my as...rectum. So she has me drop my pants and roll onto my side and get into a "fetal like position" (oh this is fitting I thought to myself). Then she went ahead and did what she had to do, and that was very uncomfortable.
So then, this is where it just goes from very uncomfortable, to just plain retarded. I mean, how much worse can it get. I was sick for months, finally went to the doctor, they make me give blood, and drink what was basically cement, the cement settles in my intestines and pushes on everything around it causing me a great deal of pain, and then I get a finger poked in my butt. So what is the kicker. Well she gives me my diagnosis. I've got some issues as the result of being constipated, including a hernia that may require surgery, and I have an ulcer. She prescribed some meds and are you ready for this, one of them was a suppository. Thats right folks, not only did I have to go through all that, and still feel like a large boulder is resting in my bowels, and had a finger put up my butt, I now get to shove my own finger up my own ass twice a day for 2 weeks!!!
I walked out of the doctor, with a look of disbelief. As I started thinking about the whole thing I couldnt help but laughing. What a day
are the 2 weeks up yet?
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