catching yourself in the moment

you know what happens when you're tired, extremely hungry, and then presented without an overwhelming number if challenges, many of which go against the "plan" you had in your head as to how things should happen? You know that feeling of freaking out. your heart starts racing, your legs get a little jelly-ish, your mind starts racing and you cant seem to grab onto any one particular thought. Your blood sugar seems to drop immediately, and you begin to experience the effects of hypoglycemia. Thats what happens when your blood sugar drops, causing your body to start getting shaky, and need to eat something immediately or you will literally be unable to do much of anything except sit down. Well that happened to me today. I got a pay check from my old job that was half of what it should be, so I started freaking out last night. Then the two women who I called over there havent gotten back to me today. Then at work, my assistant is going on vacation, and trying to teach me about what she does, and what I am gonig to be responsible for. That in and of itself is tough. We had a sales meeting, then I had training, then I had a cleint that was supposed to pay in order to air, but didnt, and I had to chase them down, get hte money in, late, pissing off my traffic team (they schedule thespots), then I had to run otu to talk to my finance guy who is helping me with the bullshit headache of trying to figure out how to roll over my 401k from my last job into the new one, pick what funds I want to invest in my new job, etc etc. How the fuck do companies expect employees to know what to invest in, or whatever. Seriosuly, if we were finance gurus dont you think we'd be working in finance and not selling commercial ad space. UGH! So finally I got some food in my belly, and I started feeling better. I finally caught myself. On my way back to work, I realized that all the frustration was coming from the fact that the events taking place didnt fit into the mental model I had created on how things shoudl go down, adn that was what was causing this frustration. So I took a deep breath, told myself I would get a cup of coffee at the office, and accept thigns as they were. thigns would work themselves out. Thigns would be righted. And in the end thigns would be fine. Just do what I could now, and put my energy into it, nad it will be fine. the world isnt going to end because I didnt get paid all my money. it wont end when my assistant goes on vacation, and I am buried with things to do. I just gotta chill. I caught myself in mid freak otu, and I gently stopped the free fall.
Acceptance has a helluva way of allowing you to let go of all your bullshit worries.
MT