online dating
Last month I signed up for a match.com profile. My co-worker had signed up for it, and had been on there three or four weeks, and kept telling me I should do it. "why not?" he would ask " what can it hurt, just do it" he would say. Finally, after two weeks of badgering I finally set up the profile. I apparently didnt read the "rules" to match.com and have heard repeatedly that I went about things all wrong. This coming from anyone who has posted a profile, or knew someone who did and was relatively successful at dating girls, and/or sleeping with them. I didnt know that I was supposed to lie, deceive, or misrepresent myself on my profile. I wasnt aware of the fact that in order to get dates, that you have "to be a dick" Some people said cocky, other people said aloof, but the message was clear. Make yourself out to be much better than you normally are, and also come across as being more arrogant than confident, dont be a "nice" guy, and try to convey the fact that you are in fact the coolest thing since blue tooth headsets and could give two shits about what girls want or are looking for. I didnt follow these rules when I posted my profile, and I guess that is why I havent had the same type of response that those that did were getting. It all seemed a bit odd to me, this whole game online dating. It is like a whole new world, and I didnt realize that I was so out of touch with what I should and shouldnt be doing.
So needless to say, I am letting my subscription expire, which ends today, and will not be venturing out into the virtual dating world any longer. I was against the whole idea to begin with, and now after having gone through it, I decided that it wasnt for me. For one, I dont like the idea of sifting through a bunch of pictures, and reading a paragraph or two about someone who I think is pretty to see if she is also interesting enough for me to want to contact her. Plus, if the girls on tehre are anyhting like my buddies or the guys I know or hear about who are on there, then what I am reading isnt even really who these girls are anyway. On top of that, I have no idea how to write a profile about myself, to make me sound "edgy" or "witty" or whatever else attracts the girls scouring through the profiles, or responding to the mass amounts of emails and winks I am srue they are getting daily. It just seems like an odd experience.
A few months ago, I was talking to my friend Aaron about online dating, and sharing with him some of my thoughts on it, and some of the stories I had heard about friends who did it. It seems to me that the guys I hear talking highly about are guys who are having high levels of success luring girls out for a few dates, having sex with them, and then moving on. They are not there finding long lasting, loving, healthy relationships. Plus, you read the girls profiles, and they talk about themselve,s and what they are looking for, and its like, ok, I fit those things, but if I convey that in my profile they wont respond. BUT if I write about stuff, and seem self centered and arrogant, then they will. It is like a paradox. I digress. What I was talking to my friend Aaron about, and sharing my stories, and thoughts, nad wondering if I should do it or not, he was against the whole idea, and I agreed with him at the time, as I was too. I will never forget his way of looking at it, and what he said kept him from doing it. I related to it then, and now after having done match.com (without success however you define it) I couldnt agree more. He said that you cant tell a lot about a woman by seeing her photo, or reading about her interests. No more than anyone could tell about you by doing the same thing. He said that he needs to see how a woman walks into a room, how she carries herself in a conversation. It is important to see what makes her eyes light up when she talks about it, how she moves, be it grace or confidence, or anyhting else. You need to see how she smiles, and laughs, and what kind of chemistry you share. The style she has, the passion she carries, the "vibe" that she exudes. All of these things and so much more go into the choosing of who you approach and who you dont. It goes back to my post yesterday about having some sack, and just approaching a woman you find attractive, or stylish, or funny, or attractive in one form or another and simply saying hello. So with all that being said, my rant is finished. I have misrepresented myself for 30 years as I learned and discovered who I am, I dont want to do it any more on a dating website. I'll keep it true to me, and just try to have the courage to approach girls in the real world, and say hello and see what happens.
MT
So needless to say, I am letting my subscription expire, which ends today, and will not be venturing out into the virtual dating world any longer. I was against the whole idea to begin with, and now after having gone through it, I decided that it wasnt for me. For one, I dont like the idea of sifting through a bunch of pictures, and reading a paragraph or two about someone who I think is pretty to see if she is also interesting enough for me to want to contact her. Plus, if the girls on tehre are anyhting like my buddies or the guys I know or hear about who are on there, then what I am reading isnt even really who these girls are anyway. On top of that, I have no idea how to write a profile about myself, to make me sound "edgy" or "witty" or whatever else attracts the girls scouring through the profiles, or responding to the mass amounts of emails and winks I am srue they are getting daily. It just seems like an odd experience.
A few months ago, I was talking to my friend Aaron about online dating, and sharing with him some of my thoughts on it, and some of the stories I had heard about friends who did it. It seems to me that the guys I hear talking highly about are guys who are having high levels of success luring girls out for a few dates, having sex with them, and then moving on. They are not there finding long lasting, loving, healthy relationships. Plus, you read the girls profiles, and they talk about themselve,s and what they are looking for, and its like, ok, I fit those things, but if I convey that in my profile they wont respond. BUT if I write about stuff, and seem self centered and arrogant, then they will. It is like a paradox. I digress. What I was talking to my friend Aaron about, and sharing my stories, and thoughts, nad wondering if I should do it or not, he was against the whole idea, and I agreed with him at the time, as I was too. I will never forget his way of looking at it, and what he said kept him from doing it. I related to it then, and now after having done match.com (without success however you define it) I couldnt agree more. He said that you cant tell a lot about a woman by seeing her photo, or reading about her interests. No more than anyone could tell about you by doing the same thing. He said that he needs to see how a woman walks into a room, how she carries herself in a conversation. It is important to see what makes her eyes light up when she talks about it, how she moves, be it grace or confidence, or anyhting else. You need to see how she smiles, and laughs, and what kind of chemistry you share. The style she has, the passion she carries, the "vibe" that she exudes. All of these things and so much more go into the choosing of who you approach and who you dont. It goes back to my post yesterday about having some sack, and just approaching a woman you find attractive, or stylish, or funny, or attractive in one form or another and simply saying hello. So with all that being said, my rant is finished. I have misrepresented myself for 30 years as I learned and discovered who I am, I dont want to do it any more on a dating website. I'll keep it true to me, and just try to have the courage to approach girls in the real world, and say hello and see what happens.
MT
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